Mental malts #1

"Whisky flavoured condoms and skunk road kill" from the Scotch Malt Whisky Society. Regarding the name, you canny beat it - no pun intended. Would love to hear from anyone who has tasted the above, at the same time.

I'd love to say that i saw a huge display of it in the local Tescos with a bunch of Catholic pro-life nutters threatening to demolish it but... it caught my eye on a visit to Boda - one of the 'Swedish' style pubs in the Leith area that seem to be spreading like counterfeit Rangers tops in a Stirling scheme.

Co-dhiù... it does as it says on the tin. It's an Ardmore apparently and does indeed have yon rubber taste that comes with johnnies, or so i'm lead to believe. The 'eau de Durex' is matched by a pungent and foul undercurrent which i assume is redolent of the skunk-jus. It had to be tried but here's one i won't revisit.

Should you have the time to track down an Ardmore that doesn't taste like John Prescott's Ys, i'd have to recommend the the SMWS's 23yo 'I Can't Believe It's Not Islay' - if there is any left at all. It's a fair Coire Bhreacain of a peaty smokey whirlpool that uses your tongue as a shinty pitch. Islay Camanachd it isn't though. CùChulainn picks up his caman for an Àird Mhòr and the points go to the Highlands on this one.